Perfectly not so Perfect
by IntoTheGrey
Summary: Rebuilding a relationship is tough. Tougher still when you're Johnny C. and Devi D. Just some sweet, fluffy and somewhat awkward romantic crap. One shot. You know exactly why this is rated M.


Disclaimer: I own nothing, less than nothing really. All rights belong to Jhonen Vasquez, and the various publishers and production agencies that handle his art. I am making no profit aside from my own sick amusement.

Trigger Warnings: Adult themes, domestic violence, mentions of drug and alcohol abuse, excessive cursing, and overall insanity.

This is just something that was itching in my head for days now, I'll try to keep them as in character as I can, but there are some OOC components, and I'm sorry about that. But, I had to get it out before it turned my brain to goo.

"Oh will you calm the fuck down! It's just a fucking chair!" She yelled, whipping another half empty can in the general direction of his head. She never was good at projectiles, hand to hand was more her thing, but she wasn't exactly keen on getting that close to him at the current moment. Yes, it was true, he hadn't actually hurt her at any point in the last four months since they decided to 'try again', but his mood day to day was a crapshoot. Though she'd been staying there consistently, rarely ever going home other than to do laundry and pick up her checks, she still wasn't quite good at reading which Johnny she woke up that day. Some days he would be sane, almost normal and pleasant, those were the days that Devil loved the most. The days that he would hold her hand while they watched TV, or when he would sneak attack hug her from behind while she was cooking… the days when he would actually kiss her and it felt like they were in a real relationship. The appeal of those things had worn away on her until he came back. And while she would never be a flowers, chocolates and fancy dinners kind of girl it was still nice to have some of the smaller… sweeter things that made a relationship more than a friendship. But other days….

Other days were hell on different levels. There were his depressed days… when he would hide down in the lower levels. Sitting in the dark, talking to himself. Usually, she could manage to coax some food into his thin body. She would listen to him babble and hold him close while he wept into her shirt, and eventually she would manage to get him to go to bed… though he didn't often sleep, at least he was resting.

The angry days though… those were the worst. The days where he would rant and scream, about anything and everything. The days that he would lash out about anything. The days he would punch walls and kick furniture around. Any little thing could and would set him off in a tirade and yelling and violence. Honestly, as much as she knew (hoped) he wouldn't turn that on her, it was still utterly terrifying. The first time it happened she had ran back to her apartment, and he spent three days begging at her door. She had, of course, eventually forgiven him, with her new insight to just how fucked up his brain was after going through it herself. Well, a fraction of it, but that was enough for her to understand that he honestly could not control it at times. So she forgave him, and taught herself how to handle these days.

Except this one, apparently. This time, he was just being stupid. She brought a goddamn CHAIR into the house, oh such blasphemy! Such cruel horror! A fucking CHAIR. When he'd first been twitchy and irritated by it, she'd just ignored it. Aaaand then he started yelling… at her or the chair she couldn't tell at first, but now it was another screaming match at 777 Whateverthefuckthisis St. He'd thrown the chair out of the back window, landing in the half muddy half dry back yard, and that was when she started rising to his anger. She growled and shoved him back away from the window. The look he gave her was the one she feared the most from him, but she wasn't having it, and threw her arms open wide.

"What're ya gonna do, Nny?! Kill me?!" She said, grabbing one of the array of demented blades off of the table, holding it out to him handle first. "Well do it! C'mon!" It occurred to her that this was probably the stupidest thing she'd ever done, but… well maybe she'd just lost her goddamn mind too!

Johnny was staring at the knife, eyes glinting, panting breaths, before he reached out to take it limply in his hand. Devi closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath, and waited. But all she heard was the 'thunk' as the knife flew into the wall behind her, just passed her head. Her eyes popped open, and she gave him an exhausted look. While he stared at the knife in the wall with wide eyes. She could see the change come over him, all of his rage draining out as tears filled his eyes and he dropped to his knees… reaching out blindly to wrap his long, thin arms around her hips, pulling her to him while he cried into her thighs.

"Devi… I… I'm" He stumbled, squeezing her to him tighter. "I'm s-s-sorry…."

"Shh," She whispered, moving her fingers into his hair that was growing back fast. "Nny, baby… it's okay. Hush." She whispered, managing to loosen his arms around her enough to sink down to an even level with him. "I'm fine," She said, raising her hands to her face only for the right one to some away a little red and sticky. She hadn't even felt it…

Johnny reached out with his spidery fingers, pressing them against the cut carefully. Honestly it was more like a graze, but it was bleeding, and a look of horror crossed his face. "Nny, Nny! Look at me!" She said, knowing that as the look that usually had him running out into the night, to kill and get away from his problems at home. So Devi grabbed his hands and held them between hers, pulling them to her face so she could kiss his knuckles. "It's okay, I'm okay. It's just a scratch."

"No!" He yelled, trying to snatch his hands back from her and crawl away. Devi sighed, and pulled him closer to her. "No Devil! Let me go! I-I hurt you! Fuck! Lemmegooo!"

"I didn't even feel it, Nny!" She said, wrapping her arms around him tight, even as he tried to struggle more. "I'm not letting you go, not tonight. Not ever." She said, hooking a leg around his flailing legs and hauling herself up onto his lap, straddling him as she held him to her chest. God… this was the most intimate position they'd been in so far… and it was totally for the wrong reasons right now.

Nny could get her off of him if he really wanted, they both knew it. But he didn't want to, not because he didn't really want to leave, but because he was terrified that he would hurt her again. He couldn't… wouldn't, never. Never again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her chest. The intimacies of the moment weren't lost on him, though it wasn't something he thought about, or even allowed himself to think about. But he supposed… the idea of doing THAT with Devi wasn't revolting. Not in the least. Actually, it was something he'd thought about several times lately. But he'd never be able to vocalise it… something about mentioning it just seemed tasteless to him, and Devi had been content and patient with him, never mentioning it or pushing it.

This was not the fucking time…

Devi's fingers were soft in his hair, nails soothing his scalp, if he were a cat, he'd be purring right now. How did she know how to calm him so well? Slowly, his tears turned to sniffles, his grip loosening around her waist. It took the sudden gulp of air for Devi to realize that she hadn't been breathing right when he'd held on to her.

"I'm sorry…" He said, in a small voice, like he almost didn't want to say it but felt compelled to. Devi smiled softly, still cradling his head against her breasts.

"Shut up, Nny." She said, softly, and with love. Johnny turned his bloodshot eyes to look up at her.

"Why do you keep putting up with me? You should go… too good for this. Too good for me.."

Devi pressed her fingers to his lips, before turning his head to look up at her. "Because I love you." She said, softly, before stealing a gentle kiss from him. He melted instantly, becoming like a pile of goo beneath her.

Yeah, they'd kissed before, they even made out a time or two, but this was different. This was a kiss born from raw love. Because the moment their lips met, they both felt their hearts quicken.

Devi always took these things slow, always left him with a way to escape, because you never really knew what he would do. Sometimes he flinched away, sometimes he embraced it. It seemed he was more than content this time, judging by the way he gripped her hips. She knew she'd have some bruises tomorrow, but fuck it, this moment was worth a million bruises.

It had taken time, a couple months and several fumbling attempts before Johnny learned to appreciate kissing Devi. The little thing was a good way to express feelings he hadn't figured out how to put into words just yet. They always made his heart feel… tickly. This kiss though, was making his entire body tingle… there was something… hungry about it. Something prompting him to hold her as close to him as she could be. Moreso when he felt her long, beautiful fingers curl in his hair, pulling his head back just so slightly so she could deepen the kiss, her tongue swiping over his bottom lip, coaxing him to open his mouth. He did. Didn't even think about it, just parted his lips so she could slip her tongue into his mouth.

Okay this was a little gross, but not quite enough for him to pull away from her. In fact, he just wanted to get closer, and she moaned when his hands slipped up the tank top she was wearing. Her skin was soft… and warm. And she smelled so good. Not flowery or fruity like most girls. No, Devi smelled like fresh rain, and earth. Johnny felt himself beginning to… react. The passion and love in the kiss being what did it for him. He didn't care about looks, or tits, or legs, or all of that bullshit like most guys did. No, that didn't do it for him. DEVI did it for him. Devi, not traditionally beautiful, but the most beautiful thing Johnny had ever seen in his life. She was perfect, he learned that the first time he'd ever seen her naked. She had just come out of the shower in her apartment, and just dropped the towel. They'd only been back together for two weeks, but she felt comfortable enough to be exposed and vulnerable to him. When he'd looked away, she laughed softly. Not mockingly like everyone else did, and she'd told him. "Nny, I'm your girlfriend… you can look at me, it's okay." Patience of a saint this one, really. She never forced him to do anything, just let him know it was okay if he wanted to or not. So he'd looked. And he knew she was perfect, because she looked like she was carved out of marble. Pale skin, everything just so… stunningly perfect. She was like a Goddess to him, something so far above him. And even though he didn't believe in much of anything… he'd thanked the cosmos that night for letting this angel pick him.

Now though, having her close to him, kissing him like this, he knew how lucky he was. Honestly, he could do this until he died. Yep, would never get tired of it. Then her lips started moving down his neck, and his eyes closed… a strangled sound coming from his lips. His hands tightened on her skin, and… rather involuntarily, his hips jerked forward, right into her core. Devi gasped, and pulled back just enough to look at him.

He was breathing hard, and trembling. She was trembling. Nny looked concerned for a moment, and she softly brushed his hair off of his forehead. "Are you okay?" She whispered… they hadn't gotten here before, and she wasn't sure how to proceed other than put all the power into his hands. She was nervous, like she was a teenager again. She hadn't exactly had the most expansive sex life, but she was familiar with it. She'd be a damn liar if she said feeling him hard under her wasn't doing wonders for her libido, but she would never push her luck.

Nny blinked for a moment, and before he could lose his nerve he put his hands under her ass and lifted them both up off of the floor. Thankful in this moment more than any other for his freakish, disproportionate strength. He was kissing her again, and using just his memory of the house to stumble his way into the bedroom. They bumped a few walls, making Devi giggle, before he was dumping her on the old, creaky bed.

And then there were hands, hands everywhere. Like they were both trying to reach every inch of the other's body. Johnny was driven by instinct. He'd never done this before… at least not that he could remember, but he understood the mechanics of the act. Knew what erogenous zones were and all of that. Thinking of those things before made him want to vomit but now all he wanted was to do all of those things to Devi, because the little noises she was making were the most beautiful sounds in the world.

Devi was overwhelmed, her head swimming. His hands were hot on her skin, leaving burning trails of goosebumps in their wake. He touched everywhere, the curve of her hips… the back of her thighs. Her stomach. His lips were on her neck, sucking and biting at her skin, each time bringing a noise out of her throat. God, if you're real, please let this last, she thought to herself. And tried not to feel disappointed when he pulled back, looking down at her with an intensity that made her shiver. His hands moved, coming to rest softly on her throat… and for a moment they stared at each other. She was shaking again, in fear or anticipation she didn't know. And screamed when his hands moved, grabbing the collar of her shirt and ripping it clean in half… leaving her exposed to the cool air in the room.

Still, there was an intensity in his eyes, while his hands started trailing over her breasts. Cupping them, feeling their weight. She wasn't well endowed by any means. Just large enough to need a bra when she exercised, but not enough to need one day to day. They were "perfect" he whispered, as he bent over her, wrapping his lips over one of her nipples, sucking then little nub into his mouth. Her skin tasted like heaven.

"Oh my god!" She gasped, her body arching some off of the bed. Nny smiled to himself. For her, this was all for her. Not that he wasn't curious about the act, but he would NEVER do this to with anyone but her. He wanted to make he feel good, wanted to give her that heaven he'd heard so much about. And those noises, they were doing it for him too.

Suddenly it was getting very hot in the room, sticky and warm, and Nny felt her tugging at his shirt. Good idea, he thought, as he sat up and stripped it off of himself, tossing it into the far corner of the room before moving back to his self appointed task, moving his lips to the other little nub, repeating the motion again.

Devi was squirming under him. She couldn't recall a point in her like that she'd ever been this turned on. His lips felt amazing on her skin, and every time her hips rocked against him… pressing him tight against her… damn. That was all she could say. But now with his shirt off she went after his skin to. All nails and teeth and lips. Earning herself noises in return.

Nny had no idea how to pace himself, just doing what felt right, and Devi didn't seem to mind so much, so he forged on… trailing sloppy kisses down between the valley of her breasts, the flat plane of her abdomen… stopping only to hook his fingers into the waistband of those stretchy black pants she always wore. He dragged them down her legs, peeling them off of her feet at the end. Her legs… perfect… again.

Devi watched him, his eyes roaming over her body. Usually, for whatever stupid reason, she felt weird about the naked part of this act… especially in so much daylight. But this time, this time she felt desired. And perfect. Nny looked at her like she was an Angel sent to Earth. There was intensity in his eyes again, but also softness and love.

He crawled over top of her again, straddling one of her thighs, and returned to kissing her lips. Honestly no one, not that the list was expansive, but no one had ever taken their time for her. But she realized this… this and Nny probably meant the only reason he was doing it was for her. She didn't know how that made her feel… and the thought was quickly whisked away with the thin hand stroking fingers through the black hair at the apex of her thighs. And then those same fingers took a dip, sliding right over her hardened little clit. She gasped into his mouth, her eyes wide looking up at him. He worse a soft little smile… and began to rub. "Oh shit…." She moaned, falling back against the pillows, her eyes fluttering closed.

Something swelled in Nny's chest, just from the look on her face. He knew if he was doing anything wrong she would stop him… but so far it seemed like he was doing everything right. There was some pride in that, considering he had no fucking idea what he was doing at all. So he pressed on… using his knee to push her legs further apart. His fingers met the wetness leaking from her core… and he hesitated… weird… it felt weird. Not completely unpleasant… but weird.

Devi could feel his hesitation, but rather than stop she decided to press her luck just a little. She ran her hand down his chest, feeling the roadmap of scars that littered his skin… but at least his ribs weren't sticking out anymore. Her fingers traced through the little line of black hair that lead into his pants. Johnny's eyes snapped to hers… so she held his face, smiling softly as her hand pushed past the waistline of his pants… fingers curling around _him._ It was thicker than she expected, and long, and _hot. _His eyes widened.. And suddenly all the confidence he had faded away.

"Devi I don't-"

"It's okay," she said, softly, "We don't have to." Slowly she started to retract her hand, but was stopped… Johnny pressing her hand to his flesh through his pants.

"No, I just… I don't… I never…I don't know what I'm doing."

"Well," She said, smiling softly, her free hand brushing through his hair. "You've been doing great so far." Her voice was soft, a little heady with how turned on she was. He smiled in return… and pulled away to divest himself of his clothing. Devi shivered, looking him over. He was still skinny as all hell, but then again so was she.

Nny crawled back over top of her, shaking a little. Devi, ever patient, looked in his eyes as she… again… wrapped her hand around his dick. Johnny's eyes closed, and she began to pump. Slowly at first, letting her grip do most of the word. And Johnny had to close his eyes. Fuck, it felt good. Like he'd always been afraid it would. Each stroke of her hand brought a groan out of him, and he had to force himself to remember to breath. Then she started moving faster, and he had to pull her hand off of him. It was a lot. Devi raised her eyebrow, but didn't say anything. She must have understood. Gulping, he took a shaking hand and grabbed ahold of himself. Looking away from her to find that spot from a few minutes ago. His eyes widened a bit, seeing her hand slip between her legs, parting her lower lips. She gave him a soft nod, and he returned it. Bracing a hand beside her head he pushed forward. Finding himself sinking right into her.

Heaven. This was heaven. Not that shithold of clouds, and filth he'd visited before. No, it was her soft, warm, tight body. He had to take a moment, collecting himself because he was almost sure he'd just died. Watching her face as he eyes closed and her lips made a perfect O shape. Perfect. And then she moved, rolling her hips up to meet him. "Fuck…" Johnny groaned… losing his battle with himself… he leaned over her fully, pulling his hips back and snapping them forward.

"Ohhhh fuck!" Devi yelled at that first thrusts. It had been a long while and he was… more than sufficiently endowed. That felt amazing, and she wanted him to do it again. He didn't disappoint. She was happy she'd never stopped taking her birth control… even if she hadn't needed it before now.

Because it had been so long for her, and never for him… it predictably didn't last long… though it was longer than expected. In roughly ten minutes she felt herself boil over, back arching off of the bed again, nails biting into his back. The climax tore through her like a bullet… starting in her core and spreading through every nerve in her body. It was too intense to speak, so she only made soft sounds… feeling herself consumed.

Nny couldn't push it back again, especially once she started. Devi in ecstasy was the single most erotic thing he'd ever experienced. And he did that to her. For once in his life he wasn't inflicting pain but pleasure and damn… it felt better than anything he could imagine. And the fire he'd been stoking in his gut suddenly raged. His hips gave one last snap, and he exploded inside of her. He was making noises he couldn't comprehend, and eventually he collapsed on top of her. Both still quaking in the aftershocks.

"I love you too." He breathed out, his head resting on her breasts.

That was it. I have a bigger story itching in my brains, so maybe I'll get started on that next. And yes, I know that I need to update my Halloween fic… I'm waiting for my writers block to lift on that. I WILL finish it, just slowly. R&R… and if you feel the need to be a dick… just don't. Don't waste my time or yours.


End file.
